G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Midnight movies aren’t usually my thing. I made an exception this time because I knew G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra was going to be a visually stunning, action-packed movie. The one thing to keep in mind when seeing this is that it is not art, it is purely entertainment. In other words don’t expect it to earn a Best Picture nomination. The movie doesn’t bring anything new to the table as far as original ideas are concerned either, but it sure looks pretty flaunting what it does have.

Twenty minutes into the movie is all it takes to get a good idea about what the rest of the movie is like. Everything revolves around four nanotechnology based warheads developed by international arms maker MARS which is run by Destro. The Joes want the city-destroying nanobombs in their hands while Cobra aims to terrorize the world with them. The rest of the movie is essentially a big game of tug-of-war with the warheads in the middle.

The plot is formulaic and uninspired but the execution of its parts is both explosive and exciting. The high point of this explosive action is a chase scene in downtown Paris involving a tanked up Hummer, Duke and Ripcord in powered armor suits, and Scarlett on a motorcycle. The damage done to the City of Lights in this scene is massive and irreparable and highlights a conspicuous absence of consequences in the movie. So many people are killed, both combatants and civilians, that I’m surprised the movie managed a PG-13 rating. Continue reading “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra”

MAGFest 7 Approaches

I know I haven’t been taking good care of Amish Otaku lately and for that I apologize but something of great importance has roused me from my apathy. In a little over two months one of the most epic events to grace this continent will be upon us and I feel it is my responsibility, no, my duty to herald its approach. Only once per … Continue reading MAGFest 7 Approaches

Bat-mania: Commisioner Gordon’s 1951 Studebaker from Batman Forever

Can anyone name a Studebaker model other than the Avanti? I could not until my crash course in the gorgeous works of one of American’s storied but rarely seen automobile makes. Luckily, after around 40 years, the international Studebaker club decided to have their meet once again in Lancaster, PA this week and I got a history lesson on the brand that was originally founded … Continue reading Bat-mania: Commisioner Gordon’s 1951 Studebaker from Batman Forever

Transformers: Air Trainer Huarache, Air Max 90 Boot, and Air Trainer 2 aka Bo Jacksons

If anyone needs to satisfy their jonesing for Transformers anything, consider these creatively designed kicks produced by Nike. While these were released last year to coincide with the live-craption movie, Transfans may want to pick up a pair to hold themselves out until the sequel, titled Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen like an F-grade butt-rock band, bows next summer, which will probably bring forth a … Continue reading Transformers: Air Trainer Huarache, Air Max 90 Boot, and Air Trainer 2 aka Bo Jacksons

Bat-mania: Keaton Batmobile on Ebay!

None other than Keaton Batmobile number five is up for sale on Ebay! The price is currently up at over $110,000 with the reserve not met and around 20 hours to go, this is wee bit on the expensive side. On the other hand, there were only four more of these Impala based and Chevy 350 powered icons ever made with the added bragging rights … Continue reading Bat-mania: Keaton Batmobile on Ebay!

Bat-mania: Batman: Year One

Guest Post

“A richly thrilling crime saga,” concludes Rotten Tomatoes about The Dark Knight.

The truth, no doubt but where did the noir-ish Batman come from? Certainly there were some elements in Batman: The Dailies 1943-1946, which I reviewed a few months back, but from the start, Batman was always a detective and lacking superpowers he has to use cunning, as well as a smattering of clever gadgets, to get the best of the villains. Well, the answer to that lies in the dark, dank and moody Batman: Year One. From the onset is raining and depicts the arrival of Chicago native Lieutenant James Gordon, who is praying that his wife, Barbara, is not pregnant and that they will not have to enduring raising a child in crime infested Gotham.

Let us step back for a moment. Chester Gould, creator of Dick Tracy, the noir-strip that had a significant influence on Batman, always unofficially set Tracy in Chicago, where he lived and the Windy City was Gotham in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight.

Year One, like Tracy, is about crime. Gotham is dirty up and down, from prostitution, gangs and drugs in the Eastern End to up and down the police force, even as high as Commissioner Gillian Loeb who brings Gordon in because of his ability to keep the media away from his mishaps while on duty. The Commissioner is dirty and sees this is as an invaluable asset.

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Bat-mania: Converse Chuck Taylor All-Star Batman Hi

Guest Post Anyone remember when Chucks aka Converse All-Star sneakers were worn only by nerds and you could routinely find them on the clearance racks? I do and though this was about ten years ago, sometimes my biggest concern then would be whether or not they’d even be around at all. These days I hardly even wear Chucks anymore, instead favoring their yuppie summertime cousins, … Continue reading Bat-mania: Converse Chuck Taylor All-Star Batman Hi

Bat-mania: The Dark Knight IMAX Experience

Why So Serious?
Warner Bros

Guest Post

I’m sitting here on my lunch break eating store brand beef ravioli which, from my understanding is genuine hardboiled noir cop food. Canned and cheap, it even resembles chili very nicely when served up in a two quart bowl. Having been up since 5AM and it is now 4:50PM. I am only halfway through my shift which means plenty of black organic high test will be flowing and I don’t mean sweet crude, but coffee, another staple of the noir detective’s diet.

Over nine hours earlier, I was riding in the back of a Chrysler 300C, a bold shouldered, elegant and luxurious muscle saloon. Since my $5000 Subaru was having brake issues I was in no room to argue being escorted in style in this high speed boulevardier. Factory dressed in Brilliant Black Crystal Pearl with tasteful chrome accents, the vehicle has enough accentuation to differentiate it from the numerous lesser 300 models, many of which do not possess the 340HP Hemi motor.

Intimidating style. Power. Purposeful handling. Luxury. Excellent view from the front or the back seat. This seems like the kind of car Bruce Wayne would get carted around in or not hesitate twice to man handle by the big fat wheel if he were nowhere near as filthy rich. But it is a start and is one of the finest automobiles I have ever ridden in and I felt a little, but not much, like Wayne in riding in the commodious rear seat. After all, one of the recent comic book Batmobile’s had featured a big 300-like chrome grill.

There we have it. With my lunch, I had my Lt Jim Gordon diet and with my ride to the IMAX to see The Dark Knight, the closest semblance to the Bruce Wayne fantasy that I may ever see. Our showing was at 9AM and thankfully I bought tickets last Wednesday since all subsequent showings were sold out.

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Hellboy II: The Golden Army

Dark Horse

While I was a fan of the first Hellboy movie I never followed the comic or delved into the animated shows. Going into Hellboy II I was relieved that I didn’t need to rely on the canon to follow the story or make the connections.

If you’ve seen the first movie the first 30 minutes of the film will be a bit tedious. You don’t need to see the first movie to follow the story but the character introductions in the movie are a bit awkward, especially so if you’ve seen the first film.

The film opens in the past, after the end of World War II. Hellboy is still a juvenile (portrayed by a very annoying child actor) and his adopted father is reading him the legend of the Golden Army as a bed time story.

Many generations ago the humans and the fair races lived in relative peace until the greed in the heart of humanity overwhelmed them and they set out to purge the world of the supernatural. Upon a brutal defeat at the hands of the humans, King Balor of the elves is approached by a master smith of the goblins who proposes to build the king seventy times seventy (4900) golden automatons to aid their war against humanity. Continue reading “Hellboy II: The Golden Army”